the real me

Thursday, April 22, 2010

hazlin, get well soon babe.



this is my friend, nor hazlin bt hassan. she used to be a cheerful, crazy and 'kuat makan' girl. but that was before when she was diagnosed to have a kidney failure. aku post entri ni special utk lin sbb aku tak tahan tgk kwn2 yg pergi melawat dia cite psl keadaan dia. sedih sgt. aku tak sangka yg dia hanya mampu duduk atas wheelchair. dia dah tak boleh drive mcm dia biasa drive dulu. aku baca kwn2 punya status and comments dorg. sampai aku tak sanggup nak tnye mcm mane keadaan dia. hanya dgn membaca, aku boleh bygkan betapa sedihnya keadaan dia. dia dah tak boleh mcm dulu. even kalau dia sihat, dia kene bergantung dgn ubat seumur hidup.
lin, aku rasa bersalah sbb tak ikut dorg pegi visit kau. aku nk sgt. since dah bape kali tangguh. tp aku ade commitment lain. aku tak boleh nak ponteng class. aku harap kau fhm lin. bkn aku kat sini tak igt kat kau, hari2 aku doakan kau supaya cepat sembuh. insyaAllah, 3rd week special sem aku n kwn2 lain akn dtg lawat kau. kau jgn patah semangat tau lin. even kau jauh, even kitorg x leh tgk kau hari2, tp kau ade dlm hati n ingatan kitorg. kau kene kuat. ni sume dugaan Allah. DIA nak tgk sejauh mana kau tabah dia bg ujian kat kau. kau kene lawan. kau kene kuat. kalau kau syg kitorg, kau jgn patah semangat. skrg kau fikir nak sihat je. jgn fikir psl benda lain. jgn fikir kau lmbt grad, xdpt grad dgn kwn2 lain, xpe. belajar tu no limit. sampai bila2 pon kau boleh blaja. skrg kau kene fikir kesihatan kau. kau jgn fikir psl lain. kitorg ada bg semangat kat kau. kitorg call kau, msg kau,3g kau sekerap yg mungkin........

p/s: aku sedih. kalau boleh aku taknak nangis psl kau, tp tak boleh. biar aku nangis skrg. kalau aku jumpa kau aku tak boleh nangis sbb nnt kau bertambah sedih....
Ya Allah, aku minta kepadaMu, kau tabahkanlah hati sahabatku ini untuk menaggung penderitaan yg dialaminya....amin...

Friday, April 16, 2010

bersyukur dengan apa yang ada

td masa otw ke putrajaya, aku dengar hotfm. hari ni topic the sumthing like patot ke kalau anak2 mntk sumthing kat parents dia, and parents ikut kehendak anak dia tu? ada 1 sms or email tu kot dia baca laa.. dia nak pegi rombongan ke kl (myb dia duduk luar kl). dia ckp kat mak dia. pastu mak dia ckp kat bpk dia, tapi bapak dia tak ckp ape2 pon. besok nye dia tgk bpk dia x blk2 lg. dia pelik. dia tnye mak dia mana bpk dia x blk. mak dia ckp bpk dia keje lebih sbb anak dia nak g rombongan tuh. dia terharu n sedih sgt. aku tgh driving time aku. aku diam je. mama pon sambung jugak ' mmg betol pon, kalau anak mntk ape2, seboleh2 nk bg jugak' . aku terfikir. sedih pon ade jugak. selama ni aku mntk mcm2. kalau aku mntk x dpt aku akan tarik muka. kdg2 aku terfikir jugak, kalau aku ade kat tmpt parents aku, kalau anak aku mntk sumthing lets say la nk beli ape2 n benda tu mhl, duit kau bln ni ngam2 je. kau nk buat ape? u have to say no jugak lah. bkn xnk kasi, tp kalau bg nnt takde duit nk mkn ke, belanje ke mcm mana? so kene fikir jugak. kalau nak satu benda tuh, bkn sbb kalau kwn kau ade, kau pon nk ade jugak. mcm aku. kwn2 aku ade kete sendiri. aku takde. tipulah kalau aku tak rasa jealous tp nak buat mcm mana. myb parents aku suruh aku belajar betul2 n kerja bgs2 then belilah ape yg aku nk beli. ade times aku fikir mcm ni n ade times aku fikir the opposite. tp luckynye aku, bila aku fikir the opposite, aku fikir the positive side pulak. huhu. mcm tula. jgn sbb kwn kite ade sume benda yg dorg nak, kita pon terpaksa susahkan mak bpk sbb kita nak setaraf dgn kwn2 kita. kene igt life is not always on top. life is like a wheel. kalau benda yg kita nak tu, kita dpt, then itu rezeki kita alhamdulillah. kalau kita tak dpt hari ni, myb kita akan dpt benda yg kita nak tu much much better than ape yg kita nak. betul x? so, ini nasihat utk diri aku jugak utk aku belajar pandai2 n kerja bgs2. bkn pe, yg sng aku jugak nnt kan. takde lah dok nk mntk org je. haha... teror jugak aku berfalsampah kan? hahaha..

p/s: hari ni result kua. alhamdulillah syukur result tak seperti yg aku jangka. thank u sir lee seng fatt n sir iqbal!!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

sebelum lena


baru lepas tengok akasia Adamaya kat portal tv3. kalau nak taw, ptg tadi dah tgk dah. tp disebabkan aku dah OBSES si sein or adam, maka aku tgk la lg tanpa rasa jemu sikit pon. bahagia nya kalau dapat husband caring, sweet mcm adam tu. masa wife tidur, ukur kaki wife sbb nak taw size kaki, ouchhhh. so sweet baby! haha... before cite ni di tyg kat tv3 pon aku dah taw cite ni best. sbb aku suka gila kat lisa surihani n sein! haha. lisa cantik n sein kacak! so, perfect couple in this series.

ok ok taknak cite byk psl adamaya sbb kang entry jadi entry 'Adamaya' pulak. haha. tp sumpah aku tak boleh lupa 'kemanisan' sein dlm cite ni. awww! ok dah2. ha, actualy nak cite yg hari sabtu ni nk blk MELAKA yeayyy!! sbb ape aku suke sgt sbb aku akan blk rumah family angkat aku!! rindu mak ayah!! nasib ayu aka debot (hehe..jgn marah yu) nak blk kg this week. plus kaklong pon nak blk jugak sbb nak beli cili kering la ikan bilis la. mcm2. mcm la kat kulim takde kan kaklong? hahaha... ala biasa la tu. murah. kalau abg debot blk lg best. mak ayah siap belikan ikan. siap siang kan lg ok! kalau blk kl x masak jugak xtaw la debot oi. mak tolong siangkan lg tuh. hahaha.. tp papehal sumpah x saba gila nk blk melaka sabtu ni! kalau la mak x busy jaga baby nondek, syahrin, boleh call mak suruh mak masak sambal goreng n mcm2 lg. rasa nk order mcm2 je. tp ayu pon kata kalau blk melaka kene tolong mak masak so xleh la nak call mak suruh mak masak ni masak tu. haha. sorry mak. saje je. org mkn jela pe yg mak masak. sume SEDAPPPPPP!!! NYUMMMYYYYY!! perlu ke nak caps lock?? PERLU lah sbb mak saya masak mmg sedap! mama saya pon masak sedap! untung aku dpt 2 mak! nnt kalau kawin, kalau bakal suami aku tu ade mak lg, ade 3 mak!! fuyyoooo!! bkn setakat 3 mak, kalau ada lagi, 3 bapak!! aku nk 3 mak 3 bapak la!! wahhh. lg best kalau bakal mak mentua aku tu dipanggil mummy/ibu sbb aku da ade mama n mak. kalau bapak pulak papa/daddy sbb aku dah ade abah n ayah. hahaha. demand gila. ok2 jap. asl cite psl mentua2 ni? lari gila topic!! hahaha.. takpelah. bila lg nak berangan kan? sume org kan suke berangan. mane lah taw kot2 1 hari angan2 kita ni jadi kenyataan, alangkah indahnya dunia. tp aku selalu fikir yg tak semestinya apa yg aku angankan jd kenyataan. betol x? sbb sume dah ditulis. so kita kene terima dgn seadanya. wah teror aku berfalsampah.eh eh. berfalsafah. yeke falsafah? yela kot. whateverrrr la hanis oi.



ni aku kepilkan sekali gmbr family agkt aku. rindu semua org dlm gmbr ni ok!! huhu... =(




Monday, April 12, 2010

mereka

kenapa mereka? sebab mereka adalah mereka dan ternyata mereka itu bukan aku. mereka bebas berkata2 tanpa segan silu tanpa peduli orang lain. tapi hakikatnya aku tidak ambil peduli dengan kata-kata mereka kerana itu hak mereka. aku adalah aku dan syarat utama untuk menjadi seperti aku adalah tidak perlu buat kesimpulan tentang tingkah laku mereka. kerana mereka berasa diri mereka cukup sempurna untuk mengatakan sesuatu. haha. mereka buat aku ketawa hari ini. mereka sangat lucu. teruskan. aku kagum dengan perjuanganmu. syabas!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

i loved u once

i found this beautiful poem on the internet and i'd like to share with you.. this is for those who had experienced in love... =)

Don't cry over someone that won't cry over you
No guy is worth your tears and when you fond the one that he is won't make you cry

If you really love something, set it free
If it comes back, it's yours
If it wasn't, it wasn't meant to be

Someday you will cry for me like i cried for you
Someday you will miss me like i missed you
Someday you will need me like i needed you
Someday you will love me but i won't love you

Time will make you forget about me
But time will make me love you more than before

If i never met you, i wouldn't like you
If i didn't like you, i wouldn't miss you
but i did, i do and i will

My heart belongs to you
My soul dies for you
My eyes cry for you
My empty arms reach out for you

Forget who hurt you yesterday
But don't forget who loves you tenderly today

Love can make you happy but often times it hurts
But love is only special when you give it to who its worth

Boyfriends come and go
But friends are forever

The hardest part of loving someone is knowing when to let go
And knowing when to say goodbye

No pleasure, no expressions
Just an illusion of what should of but wasn't

I hate you for not letting me have you

Forget the times he walked by
Forget the times he made you cry
Forget the times he spoke your name
Remember now you are not the same

Forget the times he held your hand
Forget the sweet things of you can
Forget the time and don't pretend
Remember now that he is just your friend

The day you finally decide to love me will be the day
After the day i have given up on chasing you

I hate to see the one I love happy with somebody
But surely I hate it more to see that the one i love unhappy with me

I had a dream and it was about you
I smiled and recalled the memories we had
Then i noticed a tear fell from my eyes
You know why?
Because in my dream you kissed me and said goodbye


Friday, November 27, 2009

murni

td ym dgn siti irma rosli aka irmo, melur, gummy, atuk.... hahaha... mula2 cite biasa2 je.. pastu irma ajak lepak... aku pon dah mendap gila duk umah.. so aku tanye mak aku aku nk kua lepak jap... setelah disoal siasat dan mintak sedikit dana, maka aku pon berangkatlah ke rumah irma utk mengutipnya... pastu dah kutip xtaw nk lepak mane. sume kuar. hartamas, bangsar, pj, wangsa maju... last2 kitorg lepak kat murni ss2. ramai gila org. nasib ade sit. aku order mozarella cheese nan dgn air I LOVE YOU. haaa. jgn tak caye. kat situ ade air mcm2. i love you, i miss you, pink panther n tah ape tah lagi CHA tu ckp. aku tanye dia xde menu ke. senang skit nk tgk ape yg best. dia kate xde. so aku pon redha. aku order la I LOVE YOU. CHA yg busuk gila babi tu bleh plak dia bantai 'I LOVE YOU TOO'!! pundek dia!! hahahahah... irma order pink panther n carbonara chicken chop. adik aku order carbonara jugak dgn air I MISS YOU. hahaha. comel gila. air I LOVE YOU tu mcm air grape pastu ade buah longan n lemon. sedap jugak. pastu serve dlm balang. bkn la balang kuih tp mcm balang prego tu. jar. adik punye air yg I MISS YOU tu mcm tropical breeze kat Manhattan Fish Market nye. mcm sprite campur tropical nye cordial pastu ade longan, nata de coco n lemon jugak. irma nye air tu xsure la plak. mcm fruit punch pon ade. irma kate rasa pisang n nenas. SUMEEEE sedappppppp!!! nyummm nyummm. tp aku n adik mkn tak hbs. so kitorg bungkus. portion dia mmg utk 2 org mkn. so, worth it la dgn harga dia. irma bantai order fries pulokkkk. aku tgk adik aku yg bantai hbs kan. bgs dik! thumbs up! kau mmg MAJLIS PERBANDARAN KAJANG sungguh! hahahahhaha...pastu irma leh bantai, muka CHA tu mcm NAIM cha! hahaha.. aku tgk skali pon ade gak laaa. hahaha... igt kan naim yg part time tp takk!! wakakakak. irma hang mmg bongok!! pastu hari ni kan birthday bella!! igt nak ajak bella lepak skali. leh celebrate. tp bella baru blk dr klia amik abg J! hahahahah... takpe, kat muadzam kita celebrate ok ipin!! opah cyg ipin n rindu ipin sgt2!!! =(

i'm hoping that u will read this....


trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met...
true love never dies as we see in our eyes, only when we let go that... we can truly say goodbye..
real loss only occurs when you lose something that you love more than yourself

how can i forget you when you're always in my mind?
how can i not want you when your are all i want inside?
how can i let you go when i can't see us apart?
how can i not love love you when you control my heart?

a lost love is never lost unless what's lost is the love for your lover

without you there is no love
without you there is no me
without you there is nothing
so, i'm asking, ' Baby, please don't leave'

i cry because i know he doesn't feel the way i do
i cry because i think of how pathetic i am
i cry because i think i'll be crying forever

some people say the worst way to miss someone is when they are right next to you
and you know you can't have the,
but it's worse when you thought you didn't want them anymore
and all of a sudden you realize you can't live without them

a heart breaking is not always as a loud as bomb exploding
sometimes it can be as quite as feather falling
and the most painful thing is no one really hears it, except you

how can i promise you forever when tomorrow is so far away from me?
how can i dry your tears when i have bleeding heart inside of me?
how can i ever forget you when your name is etched so deep within me?

maybe if i had just looked away the first day i saw you and everything would be different and my heart wouldn't be breaking right now

i wish that you were here or i were there or that we were together anywhere

the saddest love is to love someone
to know that they still want you
but the circumstances don't let you to have them

a million words wouldn't bring you back
i know because i've tried
neither would a million tears
i know because i've tried!!!

it's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when you're heart still does
it is now one of my biggest regrets in this life, not to have seen the extent of your love for me

sometimes i wish i had never met you
because then i could go to bed at night without knowing there was someone like you out there

every single person in this world waits for love in their life
some people say love didn't come to them but it was right in front in their eyes
some people wait a lifetime for true love
i should know, i'm still waiting for my true love

our sweetest songs are those that tell of the saddest thoughts
the worst thing a guy can do is let a girl fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall

love is born with a smile, grows with a kiss and dies with a tear.....................

p/s: i will always love you................