the real me

Friday, August 14, 2009


Feels like its already been ages since A gone from ‘our’ meeting place. Haha. Its funny rite? I know its not ‘our’ meeting place but there was the place where I 1st and last met A. can anyone understand me how does it feel when u know the person that you like, love or have crush on will never be yours? Please tell me how does it feel?? It is hurt to accept the fact rite? When he was there, I am terribly happy. Hahaha. Yea I admit it. I’m happy when he was around. Eventhough you could only see him from far, but yet that made me feel great. But, now and forever he is gone. Doesn’t mean he is dead or get shot but he is ‘gone’. Disappear. Vanished from my eyes. If A came across my mind, I will open up the laptop. Yes! A is in my lappie or through facebook. Once he uploaded new pictures, I will go through those pictures and see how he is now. He looked great since he is gone. Pretty much happier than before I guess because he is surrounded by his F now. 24 7.maybe. I didn’t have the intention to take something that is not mine but is it a crime to have some sort of feelings towards A? me myself can’t describe what the hell am I it love? No. I don’t think so. People always say that, if you fell in love, your heart beats faster than ever, you feel awkward when you see the person you like or you love or the person you have crushed on. I don’t feel that. I just want to see him. That is pretty enough for me.

Sometimes, when you are no longer able to control your emotions, you will burst into tears. Everyone feels that way. When you are down, what would you do? Just throw a fake smile? Pretending ‘I’m ok la friends. Don’t worry. Myb it is because of the period’. That is cliché. By now, I understand the word cliché. Hahaha. Aahhh. What am I writing this shit? No one will know how I feel. Even ur super duper BFFFF say ‘ I know how u feel. I’ve gone through this before. Just be patience. Everything will be fine. There are bugs out there.’ What bugs? For me, it is only a bug. That is A! wth!! It is all your fault! Why must I saw u in everywhere I go? Why must I saw ur yea-his-butt’s-heavy everywhere when u was there?? WHY?? Provide me the answers please. Could anyone? When my itunes shuffles and when it’s turn to always be my baby, it reminds me of u. u were singing happily rite? I remember that. Hahaha. So cute of u when u were on the pitch. If I had times or if there were any games that u played, i wanted to see u. even I don’t have the urge, but I tried and finally I got there where u were playing. Omg. I miss damn much that moments!

A!! I miss you so much. Hoping you will achieve what you strive for and lived happily ever after with F. =’(

Thursday, August 13, 2009


starts of the holiday was not so good as my lil bro was admitted at kpj shah alam where it was known as SMC due to asthmatic and high fever. and he was in the VIP room ok! aku pon tak pernah. i was admitted too when i was in standard 4 kot.. ha yelaa... tu pon ward biasa je.. melampau sungguh.. mcm duduk hotel ye kau dik... everything is served.... pheewwww.... now, everyone yg nak visit or wat check up ke mesti kene tanya oleh nurse2 kat depan pintu tu 'ada demam, batuk atau selsema?' kalau takde, they will letak a small green sticker as a sign yg u takde sakit apa2. if ada, myb they provide u the mask or u can't enter the hosp. 1 day, aku nk gi la hosp. as usual. akan diinvestigate oleh nurse2 tuh. aku jwb jela. study ke kerja? study la kan obviously? kat mana? mst la uniten. kene tutup tak? kene. ada studs yg kne kuarantin? mst la ada. kalau tak takkan uniten saja nak tutup.betol x? pastu boleh plak dia bantai adik tak boleh msk. aku pon ckp laaa. arini je dah 10 kali saya keluar masuk sini. takkan takleh msk lg?? dia kata mmg tak boleh sbb baru dpt arahan. oooo. ada staff yg positive baru kau nak tanye la aku study je kerja lg. u aku tutup ke x?? kalau tak, kau tampal jela sticker hijau korg tu kannn?? benci betol.... tp finally i got in too! through ER! hahaha... mcm hape je.... takot gak at 1st kan? takkot tak lepas ke... kene tarik oleh guard ke... who knows? mcm kite duk tgk dlm tv laaa... hahaha... itulah alkisah nye duduk di hosp.... tp sakit pinggang la sbb tido ats kerusi... nasib for 1 nite stay only.. kalau tak bengkok tulang blkg... huhu...

escape from muadzam

where shall i start?? hurmm.. let me think... ok. past 2 weeks, uniten were announced to shut it's operation as most of the students were diagnosed with positive influenza A h1n1. it was in 4th aug. can u imagine, notice naik 330 and u have to leave the area abt 4 or u kene quarantine skali untill 11th aug?? gila ke apa?? so, after we all gathered and some briefing from kak fatin, everbody was rushed to pack their stuffs and i believe they just picked up what they seen rather what they needed to pack. same goes to me. sampai lupa bwk blk charger laptop ok!! shoot gila! mcm mana nak hidup charger laptop takde?? batery pon almost meninggal... heshhh.. luckily mama's charger same as mine... thinking of buying the new one but it cost too expensive for me... rm150!! to be used for how many days only.... ye laaa... cuti bukan lama mana pon nak beli mhl2... i'd rather spend my money on others like shirtsss or pantsss or not just a pair of shoes ( yg mmg tak sempat nak beli even a pair ) huhu.... i think i'm out of topic already... huhu... ok, after get lost from harmoni gate, pegi isi minyak kat petronas bdr n withdraw some cash kat cimb. then kitorg jumpa kat petronas highway. guess what?? there were so many uniten studs kat sana. mcm pengumuman tergempar raya. like it was esok raya hari ni baru dpt taw. sume studs 'gather' kat petronas. isi minyak, beli air,makanan, tunggu member nak convoy, pam tayar... yg 'best gila' dpt jumpa artis!! AIMAN!! hahaha... siot je... lepas borak2 sat, salam2 ajang yg nak balik BP, we all pon start our journey.... yg kononnya convoy time tu were WSB, WDB, AFY and AGV where shila's, iena's, lin's and sherry's... konon je gerak sama2... last sume mcm hantu bwk kete... huhu.. korg mmg... nak mati cepat kah?? aku taknak... huuuu... with no stop, unless kat mcd senawang. when we reached mcd, tak ramai sgt org.... lepas sume da amik seat nk mkn, maka berbiji2 kete uniten studs pon sampai. it was like mcd tu uniten yg punye. yelaaa.. almost full with uniten studs... and sgt best ok time tu sbb parents fara bella yg open table for us.... thanks uncle faudzi! bila boleh lg?? hahah... joking... after mkn spicy chicken mcdeluxe yg superb gila tuh, we all drive-thru pulak beli ice-cream.. yelaa... kat muadzam mana ada mcd so skali beli in bunch la kannn... hahahha... dah mkn tu kitorg jln laa sampai lepas tol senawang sbb nak kutip si ribhan syafini pulak... dia nak naik dgn shila sampai subang... mcm jejak kasih tepi jalan pon ye... sempat lg amik gmbr peluk cium sume... biasa la kitorg... mana taw malu... kan suka bikin kontoversial... hahaha.... naik je highway sume dah tak igt hidup mati... selagi meter tak habis, pedal minyak ditekan... alhamdulillah kami semua sampai dgn selamatnya....